Eating Ass 101: Everything You Need to Know About a Rim Job
Learn why it's enjoyable, how to make it safe, and the best tips for giving and receiving.
A rim job is a slang term we use to describe analingus, which refers to oral stimulation of the anus. We use a lot of different terms for this: rim job, ass-to-mouth rimming, analingus, eating ass, but in reality, it’s like any other oral sex act.
How to Give Rim Jobs?
So, you want to give your partner a rim job, or the other way around, but have no idea where to start. That’s totally normal and very common. But let me put your mind at ease; rimming is simple—you’re probably just overthinking it.
Try ‘The Swirl’ Method.
This is a technique that’s often used for cunnilingus where you move your tongue in a swirling motion around the clit, but the same applies here when you swap the clit for the anus. Simply glide or swirl your tongue around your partner’s anus, rimming the edge. This is actually how rim jobs get their name.
Pay Attention to Other Body Parts
A good rim job doesn’t just focus on tongue action. For partners-with-penises, play with the balls or massage the perineum while you’re ass to mouth rimming. For partners with vulvas, stimulate the opening of the pussy and the clit. Don’t get so focused on ass eating as a solo event; try to incorporate it into your foreplay as a whole.
Check In With Your Partner About What Feels Good
How do you know if it’s feeling good for your partner? Ask them. This doesn’t have to be a business transaction, either. Some example check-ins might be:
- “Baby, does that feel good?”
- “Tell me how that feels?”
- “Do you like it when I do this…?”
Those are great check-in lines you can use as dirty talk and as a way to touch base and see if your partner is enjoying themselves.
Peek Behind Closed Doors — Watch Real Amateurs
The Best Ass Eating Positions
As an experiment for the purpose of this article, and not at all for personal reasons - wink, wink- I’ve tried some rimming positions and can report back that there are quite a few that work very well.
- Doggy-style from behind gives your partner amazing access to not only your ass (spreading the cheeks, burying their face in there) but also to other parts of you that can be stimulated at the same time.
- Missionary-style between the legs offers a very sensual vibe, allowing the receiver to engage more with the giver; running your hand through their hair and maybe even giving a slight tug on it when they hit just the right spot.
- Face sitting is a must-try with this one, if you’re both into that kind of thing. Straddling your partner’s face and letting them go to town not only on your vulva but including your anus as well is something that gives you way more sensations than I can even describe.
Why Do People Like Rim Jobs?
Using your tongue to please your partner is something many people actually enjoy doing, and likewise, having a tongue used on you for sexual purposes can be quite pleasurable for the receiver… and ass eating is no exception to this.
People like rim jobs because they feel good. Another exciting part of rimming can be the slight taboo around it, or the surprise sensation if you’ve never experienced it before.
Is It Safe to Eat Ass?
Whether you shave and how extensive your cleansing prep is before the act is completely up to you and your partner, but there are some safety factors you should keep in mind that are less flexible.
You Should Absolutely Engage in Rimming If…
- You and your partner have spoken about it before and can communicate openly.
- If it’s something you’re both interested in incorporating into your foreplay.
You Should Not Engage in Rimming If…
- You have poor digestion that day (gas, diarrhea, constipation, etc), as this can very quickly turn from a fun time to a not-so-fun time without much notice.
- If you have open sores (like hemorrhoids, for example), this is not particularly safe for ass to mouth rimming.
Can I Get an STI From a Rim Job?
STIs such as hepatitis A, HPV, syphilis, and gonorrhea can indeed be transmitted from rim jobs. So STI testing before engaging in analingus is always a good idea. Additionally, you can always be on the lookout for cuts on the tongue, lips, and gums of the giver or the rectum of the receiver. These cuts can become entry points for infection and transmission of STIs.
You can also use a dental dam if you want to be extra safe. While dental dams aren’t used super often, they do add a layer of protection between yourself and your partner’s skin, meaning you can both enjoy rim jobs and oral sex without actually having skin-to-skin contact.
What About Bacteria (You Know, From Poop)?
This is a very common worry and something that can be easily prevented. Bacteria from poop (like Giardia, a microscopic parasite passed through feces) can be transmitted during a rim job. However, most bacteria can be combated by using warm water and (antibacterial) soap before engaging in these activities.
Otherwise, rim jobs can be done safely and can be quite fun. Don’t let nerves or any embarrassment stop you from something you’re curious about trying!
Sure, anything anal can come with a side of awkwardness, whether it’s the clean-up to prep, the afterthought clean-up, or just the mental barrier some people have with anal play, but thoughtful communication will go a long way in making sure this is something both partners can enjoy.
Let’s Talk About How to Anal Douche
What Is Anal Douching?
An anal douche is an injection of fluids used to cleanse or stimulate the emptying of your bowel. In other words, it’s cleaning out your anus so that anal play in any form (anal fingering, anal sex, rimming, etc) is easier and cleaner. This is also referred to as anal douching, and some people do it in preparation for any kind of anal play in the bedroom.
Why Do People Anal Douche Before Anal Play?
To be blunt, the idea is to empty themselves and make penetration easier and cleaner.
Do You Have to Do an Anal Douche Before Ass to Mouth Rimming?
No, absolutely not. To be clear, you don’t have to do an anal douche before any kind of anal play. It’s something that some people choose to do so that they are better prepared for anal sex. In the case of rim jobs, anal douches may even seem a little unnecessary. If you’re not planning to engage in anal penetration to accompany the rim job, the need to ‘empty yourself’ before the act is not so important.
Whether or not you decide to include an anal douche in your rim job prep is entirely up to you. If you do wish to do so, at-home anal douche kits are very easy to use. You can also check out this quiz for how to do anal tonight to see how prepped you and your body might be to engage in a form of anal play.
How to Bring Up Rim Jobs to Your Partner
Anal play (including rimming) can be a tricky topic for some people, even if you’ve been together for a long time. Some people love anything anal, and others may have some reservations about it.
While there are still some taboos around ass eating, most of the hang-ups we have about this foreplay act may be mental barriers we’ve created for ourselves. With proper prep work (cleansing the area, discussions around boundaries, etc), rim jobs can be added to your sex life relatively easily.
First, you want to talk to your partner about it. Bringing it up in the moment (during foreplay) may seem exciting and fun, but you don’t want to risk putting pressure on your partner to say yes to something they may not have thought through, so try to have a relaxed discussion about rim jobs outside of the bedroom. This way, you can both align on your thoughts about it and how you both feel comfortable getting ready for the act.
Then, you want to align on what prep work should be done so both parties are safe.
Most importantly, you want to figure out the before-and-after steps before engaging in this activity together.
- What are the cleansing steps you and your partner want to take before this happens?
- What are the cleansing steps you want to take after the act?
- Do you need anything prepared in advance (such as towels or wipes, etc)?
What’s the Big Deal? It’s Just Eating Ass.
At the end of the day, rim jobs are becoming more popular all the time, and for good reason. Have you ever heard the saying “opinions are like assholes, everyone has one”? While the witty anecdote is often used to downplay someone else’s opinions, in this case, it can serve as a rather playful reminder that we do, in fact, all have assholes.
Engaging in anal play during sex is not something you should ever feel embarrassed or ashamed of, because it’s just another part of your body that you’re using to experience pleasure.
If you think about cunnilingus, or, as it’s more widely known, eating pussy, and how normalized that has become, sometimes it seems quite odd that moving a few inches lower with your tongue is so polarizing.
In many ways, a rim job should be as casual as the act of cunnilingus or fingering. Yes, there may be some extra prep steps needed to ensure everyone is safe and comfortable, but otherwise, it’s a pleasurable sex act like any other.
