‘How We Anal Sex,’ with Married Couple Joey Lee & Mav
There is no “right way to play” when it comes to how to have anal sex. Joey Lee & Mav share their likes and dislikes.
There is no “right way to play” when it comes to how to enjoy anal sex. It can be an incredibly personal experience and it should be tailored to every individual or couple involved.
In this Lustery video, Joey Lee and Mav share how they like to enjoy anal sex, and it’s a great insight into how sex acts can be personalized to accommodate the comfort levels and abilities of everyone involved.
For example, this couple prefers to have sex in the shower because it makes her feel more clean and comfortable. Some other fun personalized tidbits that Joey Lee + Mav incorporate into their anal sex scenes are the use of a silicone butt plug as a warm-up (after some light finger play, of course). Not only does Mav prefer those, but she likes to put the toys in herself rather than having her partner do it.
When it comes to having anal sex (whether it’s your first time or your tenth time), here are some other helpful tips on having an incredible experience every time.
How to Enjoy Anal Sex? Do the Research.
This is the starting point, with no exceptions. Regardless of your prior history with anal play or anal sex, you need to know some things first to know how to make anal sex enjoyable.
Some quick Google searches about “how to have anal sex without pain”, “how to enjoy anal sex”, or “how to have clean anal sex” will bring you hundreds of results. Many of them have step-by-step instructions for having a good experience having anal sex for the first time.
Talk It Out
After you’ve asked the internet your questions, it’s time to have a chat with your partner. This is where we start getting to the really fun part. Talking about how to have enjoyable anal sex doesn’t have to be purely logistical.
You can turn this into a naughty sexting session or a fun aftercare exercise. Start off suggestive and fun by hinting at something new you want to try. Then dive into all the dirty details and share your research on the subject with your partner. Remember to check in with them on how they are feeling about the fantasy and make sure you’re both on the same page before moving to the next step.
Indulge in Quality Products
The fun continues with some online shopping or a browse through your local sex shop. There are lots of products that can help you, and there are some products that you may want to stay away from if you’re a beginner.
Many people don’t realize anal lubricant is different than other lubricants you may already own. The “anal sex” lubes are often thicker in consistency and last longer. If you’re having anal sex for the first time (or just in general), many experts say you should never use a numbing agent for anal sex.
Your body responds to things and sends messages to you for a reason - using numbing lube or spray can actually cause you to experience more pain in the long run because you’re not realizing at the moment that something isn’t right.
Prep the Scene
Let’s just get real for a minute: if you're going to try anal, you have to understand shit can happen - literally. And what’s more important to understand: that’s okay! More than okay, that’s natural. Prep yourself (and the scene around you) with this in mind.
You may want to lay down a towel or blanket. You may want to do a specific cleanse first, depending on your and your partner’s hygiene levels. Some people prefer the full anal douche, others prefer a shower with specific emphasis on the back door cleaning. Whatever your version of prep is, please don’t skip this step! It’s important for you and your partner to feel comfortable going in.
Don’t Just Dive Right Into It!
While everyone in the room may be super excited about having anal sex, you don’t want to just dive right into it. Don’t forget about romance on your quest for anal adventures. Foreplay is an incredibly important thing emotionally, but also physically. Kissing, touching, teasing, and all that fun stuff can lead to a more enjoyable anal sex experience.
Peek Behind Closed Doors — Watch Real Amateur Sex
Loosen up a Bit
Forgive my crude language here, but no one says you have to put the whole thing in at once! Start slow. Using fingers or small anal toys like butt plugs or beads can help loosen you up and get prepared for the main event.
Work Your Way Up
As your body slowly starts to get used to different sensations around your asshole (tapping, licking, gentle penetration with toys or fingers), you can start to prepare for your partner’s penetration. This isn’t a race; go slow and backtrack if needed. Add more lube, take more time for foreplay… whatever you need, it’s worth the wait to get there the right way.
Check In With Each Other
Keep the conversation flowing! Communication is key to a lot of things in life and love, and anal sex is not the exception. Not only can communication and check-ins make sure everyone is feeling good and having a good time, but they can also be a great way to include dirty talk in your sexcapades.
Keep Going Slow, Adding More of What Feels Good
It’s okay to need more lube. It’s okay to need to take a break for a few seconds. It’s okay to need to change positions or slow down even once you’ve gotten started. Having anal sex isn’t a specific science. It takes practice, communication, and adjustments.
Some tips on sex positions: for some people, doggy-style is the easiest way to start because it allows for slow, deliberate access. For others, having the receiver-on-top is helpful for the first time having anal sex, because the receiver can then control how much happens at one time. Take your time and figure out which positioning works best for you as a couple, with emphasis on the receiver’s comfort.
Get Lost in the Moment With Each Other
Once you’ve found a good rhythm, stop overthinking! Don’t think about any potential “mess” you may be making, don’t think about any weird body sounds or anything like that. Think about being in the moment with your partner, enjoying the sensations. Get out of your own head and get lost in the moment together.
Aftercare and Another Check-In
The most important thing after anal sex (aside from the clean-up, which we will get to in a moment) is emotional aftercare. Check in with each other about the session, about things you loved, and things that could be better next time.
If you were the one receiving anal, be mindful of your physical comfort. Are you experiencing any pain or discomfort? If so, discuss this with your partner and allow them to help you get more comfortable. In general, you shouldn’t experience “pain” during anal sex, but a little soreness after (especially if the “heat of the moment” felt great) can occasionally happen.
Clean Up
Clean up doesn’t have to be awkward, and I can assure you, your partner is not “grossed out” by whatever happens after the incredible anal sex you just had together.
Cleaning up and aftercare can switch positions here, clean up first, aftercare second, or the other way around. Or you can combine them! Letting your partner help you clean up and take care of you can be a great bonding experience.
Experiencing safe, pain-free, and fun anal sex adventures with your partner can be such a pleasurable and meaningful experience if you take your time and do what feels best for you.
