How We Anal Play with Joey Lee & Mav

There is no “right way to anal play”. It can be an incredibly personal experience and it should be tailored to every individual or couple involved.

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Mav and Joey Lee Anal Play: Tips From a Real Couple

In this Lustery video, Joey Lee and Mav share how they like to anal play, and it’s a great insight into how sex acts can be personalized to accommodate the comfort levels and abilities of everyone involved.

For example, this couple prefers to enjoy anal play in the shower because it makes her feel more clean and comfortable. Some other fun personalized tidbits that Joey Lee and Mav incorporate into their anal sex scenes are the use of a silicone butt plug as a warm-up (after some light finger play, of course). Not only does Mav prefer those, but she likes to put the toys in herself rather than having her partner do it.

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When it comes to having anal sex (whether it’s your first time or your tenth time), here are some other helpful tips on having an incredible experience every time. 

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How to Enjoy Anal Play? Do the Research.

This is the starting point, with no exceptions. Regardless of your prior history with anal play or anal sex, you need to know some things first to know how to make it enjoyable. 

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Some quick Google searches about "what does anal sex feel like", “how to have anal sex without pain”, “how to enjoy anal sex”, or “how to have clean anal sex” will bring you hundreds of results. Many of them have step-by-step instructions for having a good experience when trying anal play for the first time. 

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What Does Anal Sex Feel Like?

So, what does anal sex feel like? The answer is: it depends. For some people, it can feel like a deep sense of pressure that turns into pleasure over time, especially when there’s enough relaxation, arousal, and lube involved. For others, the sensations may be so unfamiliar that they may become the focus of the first experience—which is completely normal. Like most things in sex, comfort, communication, and going slow are what turn a “maybe” into a “wow, I actually love this.”

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Talk It Out

After you’ve asked the internet your questions, it’s time to have a chat with your partner. This is where we start getting to the really fun part. Talking about how to have enjoyable anal play doesn’t have to be purely logistical. 

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You can turn this into a naughty sexting session or a fun aftercare exercise. Start off suggestive and fun by hinting at something new you want to try. Then dive into all the dirty details and share your research on the subject with your partner. Remember to check in with them on how they are feeling about the fantasy and make sure you’re both on the same page before moving to the next step.

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Examples of How to Talk to Your Partner About Trying Anal Play

• “Hey… I’ve been reading about trying something new together. Would you be open to talking about it?”
• “I came across some tips about anal play and it got me curious. How do you feel about exploring that?”
• “What would make you feel comfortable if we ever experimented with anal play?”
• “If we tried anal play, I’d want to make sure it feels good and safe for both of us. What would you need for that?”

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Indulge in Lube For Anal Sex

The fun continues with some online shopping or a browse through your local sex shop. There are lots of products that can help you, and there are some products that you may want to stay away from if you’re a beginner.

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Many people don’t realize anal lubricant is different than other lubricants you may already own. The “anal sex” lubes are often thicker in consistency and last longer. If you’re having anal sex for the first time (or just in general), many experts say you should never use a numbing agent for anal play. 

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Your body responds to things and sends messages to you for a reason—using numbing lube or spray can actually cause you to experience more pain in the long run because you’re not realizing at the moment that something isn’t right. 

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Prep the Scene 

Let’s just get real for a minute: if you're going to try anal, you have to understand shit can happen—literally. And what’s more important to understand: that’s okay! More than okay, that’s natural. Prep yourself (and the scene around you) with this in mind.

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You may want to lay down a towel or blanket. You may want to do a specific cleanse first, depending on your and your partner’s hygiene levels. Some people prefer the full anal douche, others prefer a shower with specific emphasis on the back door cleaning. Whatever your version of prep is, please don’t skip this step! It’s important for you and your partner to feel comfortable going in. 

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Don’t Just Dive Right Into It!

While everyone in the room may be super excited about anal play, you don’t want to just dive right into it. Don’t forget about romance on your quest for anal adventures. Foreplay is an incredibly important thing emotionally, but also physically. Kissing, touching, teasing, and all that fun stuff can lead to a more enjoyable anal sex experience. 

Loosen up a Bit

Forgive my crude language here, but no one says you have to put the whole thing in at once! Start slow. Using fingers or small anal toys like butt plugs or beads can help loosen you up and get prepared for the main event.

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Work Your Way Up

As your body slowly starts to get used to different sensations around your asshole (tapping, licking, gentle penetration with toys or fingers), you can start to prepare for your partner’s penetration. This isn’t a race; go slow and backtrack if needed. Add more lube, take more time for foreplay… whatever you need, it’s worth the wait to get there the right way. 

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Here’s what “working your way up” can look like in practice:

• Start with external touch and teasing to help your body relax
• Incorporate plenty of lube early and often
• Use fingers or small toys to introduce gentle, gradual sensation
• Focus on breathing and staying relaxed rather than rushing forward
• Pay attention to what feels good, and what doesn’t
• Pause or slow down anytime something feels uncomfortable
• Communicate with your partner about pace and pressure
• Only move forward when your body feels ready

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Check In With Each Other

Keep the conversation flowing! Communication is key to a lot of things in life and love, and anal play is not the exception. Not only can communication and check-ins make sure everyone is feeling good and having a good time, but they can also be a great way to include dirty talk in your sexcapades. 

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Anal Sex Positions

It’s okay to need more lube. It’s okay to need to take a break for a few seconds. It’s okay to need to change positions or slow down even once you’ve gotten started. Having anal sex isn’t a specific science. It takes practice, communication, and adjustments. 

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Some tips on sex positions: for some people, doggy-style is the easiest way to start because it allows for slow, deliberate access. For others, having the receiver-on-top is helpful for the first time having anal sex, because the receiver can then control how much happens at one time. Take your time and figure out which positioning works best for you as a couple, with emphasis on the receiver’s comfort. 

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Get Lost in the Moment With Each Other

Once you’ve found a good rhythm, stop overthinking! Don’t think about any potential “mess” you may be making, don’t think about any weird body sounds or anything like that. Think about being in the moment with your partner, enjoying the sensations. Get out of your own head and get lost in the moment together.

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Aftercare and Another Check-In

The most important thing after anal sex (aside from the clean-up, which we will get to in a moment) is emotional aftercare. Check in with each other about the session, about things you loved, and things that could be better next time. 

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If you were the one receiving anal, be mindful of your physical comfort. Are you experiencing any pain or discomfort? If so, discuss this with your partner and allow them to help you get more comfortable. In general, you shouldn’t experience “pain” during anal sex, but a little soreness after (especially if the “heat of the moment” felt great) can occasionally happen.

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Clean Up

Clean up doesn’t have to be awkward, and I can assure you, your partner is not “grossed out” by whatever happens after the incredible anal play you just had together. 

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Cleaning up and aftercare can switch positions here, clean up first, aftercare second, or the other way around. Or you can combine them! Letting your partner help you clean up and take care of you can be a great bonding experience. 

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Experiencing safe, pain-free, and fun anal play adventures with your partner can be such a pleasurable and meaningful experience if you take your time and do what feels best for you.