How We Erotic Massage with Josy Black & Michel Black

So, what is an erotic massage? An erotic massage is great during foreplay to increase arousal, or as aftercare to wind down from sex. Whether you and your partner want to try an erotic massage at home or dive into the world of professional erotic massages, this guide will help you understand techniques to slow down and give the best erotic massage or what you can expect from an erotic massage service.  If you prefer to explore erotic massages by watching, check out all our erotic massage videos on Lustery.

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What Is an Erotic Massage?

Erotic massage is a technique that engages the body and genitals to arouse or relax. There are many different types of erotic massages, both professional and between couples. An erotic massage can be a sensual way to enhance arousal before intimacy or bring relaxation after. Whether you go to a parlor or try your hand with a partner, we’ll go through some techniques and best practices.

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How to Do Erotic Massage

First, you must choose who to do an erotic massage with. It may feel most comfortable to try an erotic massage with a partner. While there’s a good chance your partners haven’t developed the level of technique that you can expect from a professional masseuse, at-home massages are hard to beat. One of the truly enjoyable parts of an erotic massage is the giver-receiver dynamic. The partner who gives the massage gets to focus on their partner’s experience while deriving enjoyment from their pleasure. The partner who receives can fully relax and do nothing other than tune into the moment. If receiving is difficult for you during sex, an erotic massage can help you develop comfort as the main focus. If you and your partner tend to assume the same roles during sex, an erotic massage can change up the power dynamic by inverting who is massaging and who is being massaged. Of course, it’s also possible for erotic massages between couples to be reciprocal. But even while you’re taking turns, each person gets their own dedicated time to bliss out.

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The Role of Slowing Down in Erotic Massage

If you’re used to sex following a certain flow or script, it can be easy to rush through the massage to get to fucking. If you tend to focus on orgasms, try to remember that an erotic massage can be enjoyable on its own. It’s not about reaching climax as quickly or efficiently as possible; it’s about taking your time and savoring the moment. The slower pace and focus on the entire body can help you and your partner connect on a deeper level or change an old sex routine that you’ve gotten stuck repeating. Rather than going straight for the genitals, take your time and give each area of your partner’s body dedicated attention. Unlike a regular hand job, an erotic massage is meant to also stimulate erogenous zones and prolong the experience.

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Choosing the Right Massage Oil for an Erotic Massage

To start, have your partner lie fully naked, optionally covered by a sheet, on their front on a comfortable bed. It’s ideal to use massage oil, especially those designed for arousal. You can use a double boiler (putting a bowl inside a pot of water) method to gently warm up the oils. Make sure they don’t get too hot. Or at the very least, warm the bottle between your hands before applying it to your lover’s body. If they like a bit of temperature play, disregard what I just said!

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Quick note: Make sure that your massage oil is pH-balanced and doesn’t contain any potential irritants like synthetic fragrances if you’re going to use it on your partner’s genitals. You can also change to a conventional lube if you prefer.

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Techniques for Full-Body Relaxation and Sensuality

Many of us hold tension in our neck and shoulders, so this can be a good place to begin. Depending on your partner’s preference, you can apply a light, slightly tickling touch, flowing full-hand caresses, or deeper muscle work. Make sure to avoid downright ticklish spots, unless your partner has indicated they like it, so as not to take them out of the moment.

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Slowly work your way down their back until you reach their butt. This is another great place for you to pause and take your time, making sure you apply the right amount of pressure for your partner’s pleasure. It’s okay to begin teasing your partner’s genitals as you work on their butt, to help awaken arousal. Continue to work your way down, massaging thighs and calves. Many people enjoy a foot massage, while others are too ticklish. If you or your partner has a foot fetish, it can be a good time to engage with this erogenous zone by giving it special attention.

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Targeting Erogenous Zones for Enhanced Pleasure

Once you’re done with your partner’s back, have them turn around and lie on their back. You can either resume from the feet and work your way back up. Or you can start with your partner’s shoulders again and work your way down. Remember again to pay special mind to your partner’s erogenous zones, their chest and especially nipples, their stomach, and the inside of their thighs. When you get to their mons pubis, take time to slow down even more. You can start stroking at the top and apply gentle pressure as you press down towards their clit or penis. If your partner has pubic hair, run your fingers through it. Try to elongate your strokes as you massage their genitals; this isn’t just a quick hand job. You can stroke the labia or testicles, and again pay attention to carefully stroking their clit or penis. Building up tension as you bring them to orgasm, if it’s desired.

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Communicating Comfort and Consent During an Erotic Massage

Sometimes erotic massages have a happy ending, but it’s not necessary to reach completion. One of the great parts about an erotic massage is that, unlike sex, it doesn’t have to escalate if you’re happy with just a sensual touch. Depending on your comfort level, you can either tell your partner ahead of time if you don’t want to be fingered or receive a hand job, or you can go with the flow and inform them of your preferences in real-time. It can be easy to default to heteronormative assumptions that fingering requires penetration, but with erotic massages, this isn’t necessary. You can stimulate the genitals using only external caresses, rather than repetitive rubbing or thrusting, if you seek a more sensual than sexual experience.

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While you’re giving an erotic massage, tune in to your partner’s non-verbal cues. Are there specific areas that increase their breathing and seem particularly enjoyable? You can add variety, but pay special attention to preferred areas of their body. If your partner seems to flinch, lightly recoil, or seem entirely apathetic, move on to somewhere else. While we can describe a series of erotic massage tips, each person’s body is unique and will respond differently to touch. So pay attention to what seems to work best, rather than assuming you already know.

Working With an Erotic Massage Professional

Erotic massages are not just a couple’s activity; certain massage parlors, brothels, sex therapists, sex workers, and bodyworkers offer professional services. This can be a great option for people who want a high-quality experience with certain established boundaries. Your experience will differ depending on the establishment and provider. For example, massage parlors often focus on traditional treatments but offer an optional happy ending, while sex therapists can use erotic massage as a technique to help you tap into your libido or break through sexual barriers. Naturally, finding a provider that makes you feel good and matches your expectations can take some time. But once you’ve got a favorite provider, you can develop a client relationship if you choose. Depending on where you live, it may be customary to leave your masseuse a generous tip if you enjoyed yourself. Like any other client-provider relationship, you need to communicate your needs and expectations with them so they know how to offer you the best service.

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Navigating Legal Restrictions and Finding Safe Services

Depending on your area’s laws, erotic massages may be the establishment or provider’s specialization. Other times, erotic massages aren’t specifically advertised or may be offered as an add-on. Remember that regardless of your area’s laws, sex workers are still professional service providers and deserve your respect. Unfortunately, due to the criminalization of selling sexual acts in certain places, providers of erotic massages can face precarity for offering these services. You should research and understand your local laws because it is not uncommon for certain establishments to be repeat targets of raids. Naturally, like all work, service providers deserve safe and dignified employment conditions. It’s important to advocate for decriminalization or legalization when possible to afford masseuses' labor protections. If you’re a client, especially in a legal gray area, it’s your responsibility not to abuse people who may not have the privilege of legal protection.