What Is Pegging? With Tabby and NoName
In this pegging tutorial video, real-life couple goals Tabby and NoName give a show and tell on what pegging means while breaking down cultural myths and providing an easy-to-use beginner’s checklist.
What Is Pegging? The Ultimate How-To Guide to Anal Strap-On Play
If you’ve found yourself asking “What does pegging mean?” or still wondering “Is pegging gay?” or you’ve simply heard the term whispered amongst your sexually-curious heterosexual friends in the group chat, you’re not alone. Pegging is among the most popular sex act searches, and for good reason: it builds intimacy between partners while opening the door to potentially expansive power play dynamics. The act of pegging goes beyond a sex act and is dynamic as a whole.
What Is Pegging? (Pegging Meaning, Defined)
For a basic pegging definition: Pegging is the act of a person with a vagina, anally penetrating a person with a penis, using a strap-on dildo.
In the early 2000s, sex columnist Dan Savage popularized the term pegging with his reader community, who voted on a term to describe the practice.
While Dan declared “pegging” as the commonly accepted term for a woman fucking a man in the ass with a strap-on dildo, the term has expanded, as with any sexual act, to what those who choose to engage make of it.
Like pegging receiver NoName shares,
“Your sexuality is yours, and it’s no one else's. Your sexuality is whatever you want it to be, and it can be whatever you want it to be.”
Is Pegging Gay? (Spoiler: No.)
Let’s clear this one up. Considering this question is widely searched, it’s time to end this cultural myth once and for all. Pegging does not define your sexuality any more than giving oral to the same sex defines your political views. Period. Full stop. As Planned Parenthood explains, “ANYONE can give, receive, and enjoy anal play: Anyone of any gender or sexual orientation can enjoy anal play, on their own or with a partner(s), as long as it is done safely and with everyone’s consent. Not everyone enjoys it, and that’s okay too.”
Why People Enjoy Pegging
For people being pegged (usually penis-owners):
There are many different reasons why people enjoy being pegged, but here are a few:
- Prostate stimulation: the male prostate is a gland that people with testicles have that produces semen when stimulated. While the prostate is not in the anal canal, it can be stimulated there and can produce intense, full-body pleasure when massaged.
- Role reversal or power play: receiving can allow people to tap into a new feeling of vulnerability, while it can also be erotic to see a partner in a more dominant role.
- New sensations: anal penetration with a strap-on hits nerves that finger stimulation might be unable to do.
- Surrender: for many, letting go is half the turn-on.
For partners doing the pegging (often vagina-owners):
Even though pegging your partner may not yet be on your 2026 bingo card, it might be time to consider it. Here are some reasons vagina-owners are getting down with strapping in the strap-on:
- The fulfillment of giving pleasure
- Switching up roles and dynamics to feel a sense of erotic dominance
- It’s got a taboo-breaking energy to it
- Creative sexual exploration
Pegging isn’t just about who’s on top (although it can be that simple if you want it to be). Pegging lets both partners co-create a dynamic, whether that’s a soft or rough dominance, or something in between.
Peek Behind Closed Doors — Watch Real Amateurs
What You Need to Start Pegging (Beginner’s Checklist)
While pegging can be entry-level accessible, it requires the right equipment and prep. And be aware that prep could take some time, depending on where you and your partner are currently, both physically and emotionally. The good news? You only need four things:
- A strap-on harness
- A dildo
- Lots of lube
- Consent + enthusiastic communication
Let’s break it down.
What is a Strap-On Harness and How to Choose One
A harness is the piece that attaches to the body of the person penetrating. Harnesses are available in various materials and styles, and the choice typically depends on what the wearer finds most comfortable. For example, jock and thongs tend to fit the most body shapes and sizes and are a great go-to. And the increasingly popular underwear-style harnesses remove the need for straps but fit to an individual's body, which can increase comfort for some.
Now, if you’re feeling a little crafty or trying to be budget-conscious, you can DIY a harness using leggings or a jockstrap. This, of course, leaves room for error, so on that note, I’ll say: a real harness will feel better and safer 99% of the time.
Choosing the Right Pegging Dildo
Now for the fun part: how do you find the perfect dildo? The number one thing to keep in mind where many beginners go wrong: don’t start too big.
For first-timers, choose:
- Silicone, metal, or glass (body-safe, easy to clean, durable)
- Decide what you want your dildo to look like. Do you want it to be realistic? Your favorite color? Do you want it slim or girthy? How long?
- A flared base (this is a non-negotiable for anal play—your anal cavity is like a vacuum and we don’t want to lose any dildos in there)
As Lucy Huxley says:
“Start small, go slow, and remember you can always size up later. The goal is pleasure, not performance.”
Why Lube Is Non-Negotiable
Anal penetration requires more lube than you think. Any time you think you have enough, think more. Then more. Then… yes, more.
When choosing the right lube:
- Use water-based lube if you’re using silicone toys—silicone lube will break down silicone toys.
- Some prefer silicone-based lube when it comes to anal. If you think this might be you, then a glass or metal dildo would be a better option.
- Avoid desensitizing lubes (they work against your body’s natural feedback)
Lucy says it best:
“My pegging advice? Use lots of lube, go slowly, communicate, and then — use even more lube.”
Consent, Curiosity, & Communication
Pegging isn’t something you surprise someone with. It starts with a conversation—preferably one that leads with curiosity.
Ask questions like:
- “What about pegging interests you?”
- “What sensations are you curious about?”
- “Do you want something slow and sensual, or playful and kinky?”
Pegging is most pleasurable when partners feel deeply connected and supported.
How to Peg Someone: A Step-by-Step Guide
Step 1: Prep the Body
If you’re worried about poo, check in and see where your most recent poos have landed on the Bristol Stool Chart. If you’re throwing down clean 3s and 4s, you’re less likely to have any poo residue—clean poos mean a clean anal cavity. If you’re really afraid of a potential poo, my suggestion would be to move through that fear through finger or oral anal play before penetration with a dildo. Some people also feel more relaxed after using an anal douche with warm water. If you’re going to douche, make sure your water is clean and filtered—just because it’s entering a different end, doesn’t mean it can’t make you sick.
Foreplay matters. Like, a lot.
Anal penetration requires relaxation. That means:
- Deep kissing
- Butt massages
- External anal play
- Rimming (optional but often excellent)
- Slow teasing around the anus with a lubed finger or small toy
When the receiver’s body feels open and warm, pegging becomes exponentially easier and more pleasurable.
Step 2: Start With the Right Position
For beginners, the best two positions are:
1. Missionary (Receiver on Their Back)
- Relaxing
- Intimate (face-to-face)
- Great for communication
- Easy to control the angle and depth
2. Doggy Style (Receiver on Hands and Knees)
- Gives the receiver control over pressure
- Allows them to push back at their own pace
- Excellent for finding the right rhythm
As Lucy puts it:
“Pegging works best when the receiver can fully relax or fully control — whichever feels safest and sexiest.”
Step 3: Go Slow… Slower… Slower Still
This isn’t the time for fast thrusting or “pounding.” Instead begin with:
- Lubing the dildo generously
- Pressing the tip against the anal opening
- Waiting for the body to soften
- Encouraging the receiver to breathe deeply
- Entering only after the anal sphincter muscle naturally loosens
A key physiological note:
Anal tension = more pain.
Anal relaxation = more pleasure.
Lucy Huxley reinforces this:
“Mental tension becomes physical tension. Relaxation isn’t optional — it’s essential.”
Step 4: Find the Right Rhythm
Once you’ve entered comfortably:
- Keep communication constant
- Maintain slow, consistent thrusts
- Check for feedback
- Watch the receiver’s breathing and body language
If you want to learn the receiver’s prostate sweet spot:
- Aim the dildo upward, toward the belly
- Use shallow, massage-like strokes
- Increase pace only when they ask for it
For many receivers, the first prostate orgasm can feel:
- Full-body
- Intense
- Emotional
- Deeply releasing
It’s normal for it to feel overwhelming in the best way.
Step 5: Explore Variations (Once You’re Comfortable)
Pegging has endless ways to play:
- Use a dual-density dildo for realism
- Try pegging while the receiver masturbates
- Add a harness that gives clit stimulation to the giver
- Introduce role-play or dominance language
- Switch positions: spooning, standing, rider-on-top
- Explore pegging as part of BDSM scenes
Remember: Let your exploration with pegging be a journey, not a race to “more.”
Pegging Safety 101
Because good sex is safe sex, and safe sex is hot sex.
Use condoms on toys if:
- You’re sharing
- You’re switching holes
- You want an easier cleanup
Check in regularly
Comfort and pain-free pleasure is the goal.
Don’t skip aftercare
This can include:
- Cuddling
- Cleaning toys together
- Water and snacks
- Talking about what you liked
- Planning for next time (!!)
What Does Pegging Mean for Your Relationship?
Pegging is as much an emotional as a physical experience. Partners often report:
- More trust
- More communication
- More erotic creativity
- More equality and exploration
Pegging Is for Anyone Who Wants to Explore
Pegging goes beyond gender, orientation, and labels. It’s about curiosity, openness, pleasure, and connection. As Lucy Huxley sums it up beautifully:
“There are limitless variations to pegging — the positions, the toys, the dynamics. Whatever you choose, enjoy it. Pleasure should never be boxed in.”
Whether you're here because you're curious, excited, nervous, or ready to shop for a harness—consider this your permission slip.
